One album. Twenty minutes. A hundred songs. Absolute fucking insanity.

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In sixth grade, everyone in my class had to trace their footsteps onto a long sheet of paper and write who their hero was, i.e. the person whose footsteps they wanted to follow in. Everyone else wrote bullshit like “my dad” or “Michael Jordan,” but I said that my hero was Jonathan Richman, the lead singer of the Modern Lovers. My written explanation was, “When I grow up I want to be a semi-famous Jewish guitar player from the Boston area, just like Jonathan Richman.” That’s not a made-up story; I’ve really been a rock snob asshole since I was seven. (In first grade I named my reading group “the Silver Apples” and told everyone in my class, “they practically invented electronica!”)

But anyway, this album is seriously great shit. Richman’s adenoidal vocals, the fuzzy surf-garage guitar, and the Doors-style keyboards all add up to punk rock five years before punk rock existed (although it wasn’t released until 1976, these songs were all recorded in ’72, with the exception of the gorgeous, heartbreaking “Hospital,” which is from ’71.) The most famous track is “Roadrunner,” covered by the Sex Pistols on The Great Rock ‘N’ Roll Swindle soundtrack. If this ode to Route “128 when it’s dark outside” isn’t the perfect driving song, I don’t know what is. Also check out the rockin’, surf-y “Modern World,” the fuzzy drone of “Pablo Picasso” and my personal favorite, the excellent straight-edge anthem “I’m Straight.”

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Tracklist:

1. “Wuss Wuss” – The Chap
2. “The Mountain” – Levon Helm
3. “Chrome Plated Suicide” – The Flaming Lips
4. “Behind That Locked Door” – George Harrison
5. “Motown” – Harvey Milk
6. “Bird on a Wire” – Johnny Cash
7. “T For Texas” – The Felice Brothers
8. “Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton” – The Mountain Goats
9. “Christian Zeal and Activity” – John Adams
10. “Mother and Child Reunion” – Paul Simon

666 is a double-disc prog concept album based on the Book of Revelation.

I wouldn’t recommend listening to “Infinity” alone in the dark; it’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever heard. It sounds like a demon-possessed woman being raped. Even extreme genres like black and death metal make people headbang and throw devil signs in the air, and that’s, you know, fun. “Infinity” isn’t fun. It’s just really fucking scary.

On the flip side, there’s “The Four Horsemen,” an insanely catchy rocker that it’s almost impossible not to air-drum to. All in all, it’s a very diverse album, even with the unifying theme. It’s almost impossible to give a general sense of what it sounds like. Just expect lots of pretentious but kind of awesome spoken word narration, creepy sound effects and more crazy time signatures that you can shake a stick at!

Disc 1:

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Disc 2:

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If I could sum up this album in two words, they would be “fuck yeah.” Listening to it is like injecting yourself with a syringe full of testosterone and THC. It doesn’t get more badass than this. They even cover Grand Funk! You know… Mark Farner’s wild, shirtless lyrics, the bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher… the competent drum work of Don Brewer!!??

Sorry for the nerdy Simpsons reference.

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He’s often overlooked, but soul singer Arthur Alexander had a huge impact on some fairly well-known acts such as The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, who covered his “Anna” and “You Better Move On” respectively. My personal favorite on this collection is “A Shot of Rhythm and Blues,” which is one of the greatest party songs ever recorded.

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Ponytail seem to live in a topsy-turvy world where everything is made of cotton candy and Lightning Bolt are bigger than the Beatles. Every second of this album is like being blasted in the face with a bazooka that shoots rainbows and liquid happiness.

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Former Spirit frontman Randy California’s solo debut, featuring the grooviest acid rock you’ll ever hear! The music is very Hendrix-influenced, which makes sense considering that Hendrix and California used to play in a band together. (Hendrix actually came up with Randy California’s nom de pleume so he could differentiate him from the other Randy in the band.. who was from Texas.)

Be sure to check out his excellent covers of the Beatles’ “Rain” and “Day Tripper,” as well as “Mother and Child Reunion” by Paul Simon.

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“Now I’m not trying to be flippant here, or irreverent or exploitive [sic] or sarcastic or ironic or postmodern, and this is not a parody. Get it? Got it? Good.”

These words come from “Folk Song,” the last track on The Power of Pussy. While it’s tempting to write Bongwater off as a joke band, there is truth to those lyrics. The nine-minute “Folk Song” skewers pretty much everything: politics, religion, society sex and pop culture, but in such a confessional, sincere way that calling it a parody would be missing the point. That’s not to say it isn’t funny; the whole album is fucking hilarious, as well as being totally arty, trippy and bizarre.

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